Young People Speak up on how Body Shaming has affected their Sense of Worth

How we feel about ourselves matter a lot in our everyday life. We all have inner insecurities, but in the end, how we handle those deep matters that plague us will depend on how we view ourselves, our capacities and the amount of value we place on ourselves. Our relationship with people and the respect and value we place on them depends on our general well being, and in our dealings with people; we unknowingly give out reflections of ourselves, hence the need for a healthy self esteem.

Last week, on the project, the teenagers learnt about self esteem and the importance of maintaining a healthy self esteem. During the session for introspection, the class was split into team A and team B and were all asked to take few minutes to think and write out positives about themselves. After a while, they were given papers and asked to write out things they felt insecure about which led us to discussing several things written in their papers. Top of the issues mentioned was the way they felt about their bodies and the way others responded to them in connection to their bodies. Some explained that they had been bullied and looked down at. This was mostly common among the girls even though the boys were equally not left out. This session then took us to our next issue for discussion which was on body shaming.

Body shaming is the act of judging, criticising or looking down at someone based on how a person’s body is. In recent times, body shaming has gotten more attention as this subject has caused widespread reactions, from suicides to depression and to cyber bullying; it definitely has everyone talking about it one way or the other. It has become a universal subject no longer to be ignored. Body shaming is not just practiced in schools anymore. It has become even more real as we hear accounts of adults changing jobs or moving out of a particular area as a result of body shaming. It is easier to imagine that everyday people are the ones who struggle with this horrible issue, but it turns out that even notable people have had to speak up about it as well. Some of the celebrities like Sam Smith, Rob Kardashian, Demi Lovato and Pink have all spoken up against body shaming. Body shaming affects a person’s emotional and psychological wellbeing.

Before the close of class, there were talks about body weight, breast sizes and other body features. Class polls were taken and the boys were asked if a girl’s breast size or other body features was more important to them than her positive inner qualities and the boys disagreed and said their focus would be on the inner qualities. The girls were asked same, and they all agreed that inner qualities were more important in their assessment of anyone. It is worthy to mention that these seeming insecurities did not come only as a result of how the members of the opposite sex treated them. The inferiority complex on mentioned subjects came also as a result of self comparison even with people of same sex and their thoughts and beliefs on how they fell below standard.

At the end of the day, it was pleasing to see that they had been enlightened and encouraged to focus on things about themselves for which they felt beautiful and positive about, because in the long run, how they feel about themselves will reflect on the choices and decisions they make. The class concluded on the note that success or failure begins from within. It is all hinged upon our self esteem.

PHOTOS

                                   
                                          Some of the opinions mentioned by team A

                                     Some of the positive things they liked about themselves

                                    

                                            Some of the opinions mentioned by team B

                                      

Teens reveal shocking truths about Sex and and Abstinence

It is no longer Guinness news that recent times have seen more sexually aware and forward young people than history has recorded. But the most interesting aspect of this breakout would be about the young women.

In the past, a lot of awkwardness was placed on women who discussed or stayed in gatherings where the issue of their sexuality was discussed. Women who openly acknowledged their sexuality or encouraged others to do so were seen as wayward and shunned or shamed publicly, and the scale for morality or immorality was heavily built around a woman’s ability to keep mum and ignore the ‘taboo subject’. But as time flew past, more women began to take more control of their bodies and openly discussed issues relating to sex and their emotional health; from small circle of friends to podiums at conferences, the talk was all over and sexual revolution had begun.

In the light of all the seemingly unending dramas and the unveiling of a topic so shrouded by culture and religion especially in the African setting, it became necessary to talk to young women within the explorative stages of their sexuality, on the need to embrace who they are, and the importance of having the right to make a decision to practice abstinence and be free from judgement or labelling.

The butterfly project this time centred its activities on the young women in government secondary school, Enugu and addressed the issue of sex and self esteem, and how pre marital sex can affect their general well being as young people. The talk was built around abstinence which is increasingly becoming an unpopular idea, as most talks in recent times are gradually shifting focus from abstinence measures to protective measures, citing the ineffectiveness of abstinence only talks among young people.

At the start of the meeting, the teenagers were asked to identify words that came to mind when sex was mentioned. Some of the words that came up were intimacy, responsibility, divinity, exclusiveness. It became more obvious that it was no new talk and the curiosity to see what they knew about the subject further increased. It was an interesting and eye opening moment as well to see how much they were willing to say about the issue.

Next, the class was split into groups after the abstinence talk and each group was asked to identify reasons why they would choose not to indulge in premarital sex. They gave reasons such as religion, unwanted pregnancy, family honour etc. It was at this stage that our earlier fears had been confirmed. It became evident that abstinence was practiced more out of fear, religion, or some other underlying external reason and not from a strong personal perspective. The reason for the failure of abstinence only programs became clearer. It failed mostly because it was heavily consequence focused, citing shame, pregnancy, STIs, etc as reasons to abstain thereby creating panic in their minds rather than helping them make a decision to abstain based on positive values, discipline, and an overall sense of self worth, and just like every other psychological cycle, more young people are breaking free and beginning to view such reasons as manipulative and oppressive to their sexuality.

See the gallery for photos of our shared moments.

                         The boys simply refused to go away but agreed to move away a bit

      
                          They seemed so interested. Everyone loves to listen to some secret....

                          The girls taking photos after school

                         Still on the photograph matter

                        Break out session with the class

                           Er...the boys moved a little closer


                      
                          No way were they letting this pass by, so they got active all the more

                          The boys were practically handling matters in this particular group

                          But wait! isn't this suppose to be for the girls?

                          In the end, we decided that the boys could get involved as well

                          Some team bonding

                          An all boys group. The boys gave us their opinion on the matter too

                          Presentation moment

                          At the end of the first contact we had a happy photo to share

                         Some sticky opinion by the groups

 

Taking Responsibility: Knowledge for Change

This week officially marked the end of the #ichoose campaign. It was indeed a hope-raising experience knowing that they were youths and teenagers out there who believed in so many positive ideals and were ready to stand up for what they believed in. A special thank you to all those who participated in this campaign as their actions no matter how little has been deposited in the ever-growing bank of impact in Nigeria, Africa and beyond. Here is a big thank you to all those that particpated; Everyone that liked the Facebook page, Law School campuses in Bwari and Lagos, University of Abuja, Baze University, All Nations University College Ghana, Our impact counterparts from Sierra Leone and Serbia, UN #Youthnow web feed and you reading this post. You have been amazing.

We at the Butterfly Mind Initiative are overwhelmingly optimistic about the future and we know that with persons like #ichoose campaign participants, our world will indeed become a better place. For those who did not have the opportunity to participate, this month presents another opportunity as we will be embarking on another social media campaign to reflect the hope and aspirations of the Nigerian/African youth. We are in a very important and vital age for youth development and together we can increase that momentum and join other youths around the globe in changing their world.

This final week on the #ichoose campaign was enlightening as it reflected youths who believed and understood that their knowledge is a vital instrument for change. We had a spoken word artist who ended our campaign and young law-students who have chosen to use their knowledge of law as a tool for impact. I guess it begs an important question. What knowledge do you have and how are you using that knowledge to impact your community?

GALLERY:

 

Taking Responsibility: The Liberating effect of Words

The power of words will forever remain a mystery. It is amazing how a word that isn’t ‘hurt’  has the power to cause pain and how a word that isn’t ‘love’ can still be held so dear. In an effort to build our world, words become our foundations, words also form the blocks with which we build and depending on our choice of words, our buildings either remain rock solid or come falling at the slightest tempest, made up of words still.

We are ruled by words. The direction in which a nation goes is determined by how convinced the people are in one man’s choice of words. With these words, we are either sold into slavery or led to freedom. We are only as
fashionable as the words we put on and as healthy as the words we digest. Our nights are defined by the words with which we make our beds and our lives are characterized by the words we hold on to. When lost or in doubt, words form the questions or become the maps that guide us towards self-awareness.
Words aren’t just words, especially when they form the lines of our favourite songs, poems, quotes, books or movies. I have become addicted to words and even more so, amazed by how people use words to tell powerful stories that inspire change.

Kendrick Lamar’s new album title ‘To Pimp A Butterfly’ is explained in the song ‘Mortal Man’ inspired by words from his good friend who said, “The Caterpillar is a prisoner to the streets that conceived it. It’s only job is to eat or consume everything around it, in order to protect itself from this Mad City. By consuming it’s environment, the Caterpillar begins to notice ways to survive. One thing it notices is how the world shuns him, but praises the butterfly. The butterfly represents the talent, thoughtfulness and the beauty within the Caterpillar. But having a harsh outlook on life, the Caterpillar sees the butterfly as weak and figures out a ways to pimp it to its own benefits. Already surrounded by this mad city, the caterpillar goes to work on the cocoon which institutionalizes him. He can no longer see past his own thoughts. He’s trapped. While trapped inside these walls, certain ideas take roots such as going home and bringing back new concepts to this mad city. The result…wings begin to emerge, breaking the cycle of feeling stagnant. Finally free, the butterfly sheds light on situations that the caterpillar never considered… ending the eternal struggle. Although the butterfly and caterpillar are completely different, they are one and the same.”

Coincidentally, these profound and thought provoking words lend a voice to the Butterfly Mind Initiative’s belief that the emerging dreams of young people should be tended to with love so that they can progress smoothly from being caterpillars into beautiful butterflies.

I write this piece, not knowing where it is headed but like every other narrative I have written or shared, I hope it inspires us to craft our own words into a song, poem or story that gives wings to every butterfly within reach.

Taking Responsibilty: International Women's Day

Over the years, there have been increased advocacy for the rights of women and girls in many countries of the world. This year, it was remarkable here in Nigeria as we witnessed more men joining the campaign in support of women's right and the need to celebrate women in various fields of endeavour. There were posters and pictures filled with goodwill messages  and future expectations in the area of the promotion of women's right. It was interesting to see that more men especially in Africa where issues like this are usually met with cultural barriers had become more involved and were advocating for increased female empowerment and participation in many sectors of the society.

In the spirit of the international women's day, the #ichoose campaign has witnessed more young people especially women taking responsibility and being more open about their passions and how they intend to change their environment using those things that appeal most to them.

From the campaign photos, we could see that the themes that young people presented were mostly centered around religion and music as a meaningful tool for impact in the society.

Indeed, religion can be a powerful tool for positive social change as religion has the power to form a person's values and attitudes towards life. Many notable religions of the world encourage their followers to build good relationships with people and to respect their environment. We would like to Imagine the outcome if  all paid attention to the positive instructions of the holy books. What better campaign for change can there be?

Again, majority of young people that participated last week on the Facebook page, expressed how they could use their music to change the course of events by sending positive messages through their song lyrics. Music as we know is a universal language that makes messages and communications between people harder to ignore. People have bonded over having similar choice of music making it true to believe that it is indeed the key to the soul.

It was good to see that many young women participated well and were eager to have their voices heard and their stand known  among their peers and globally as well. They had decided to take responsibility towards the development of their country and had also encouraged their friends from other countries to pledge their quota to their country's development. This post is a celebration of these young women taking the initiative and standing up for what they believe in. Happy International Women's Day!!!

Gallery